Below is something which I had written long time back. Hope you enjoy reading it.
This is Ajay Hosur and I am writing this mail in full hosho hawas ( or hawaass it is ? ) And I am not tight.
Main Geeta, Bible aur Quran ki kasam khake bolta hoon ki main jo kuch bhi bol(likh) raha hoon sach bol(likh) raha hoon.
Scene : Sunday, 26th November 2006, 18:26 Hrs
I was alone at home, as Alok was in Belgaum and Yashwant had gone to Office, watching one of the bestest fightbacks by Team India, some might disagree.
To my disbelief M. S. Dhoni got out but I still had hopes as Pathan, Zaheer, Kumble, Agarkar were due next. But destiny had other plans and we lost.
I remembered that I had promised myself not to watch Indian criket match after the Durban defeat. But can't help it yaar, typical Indian mentality.
Probably most Indians swear not to watch Indian cricket match after defeat, but I am sure most televisions will be switched on ESPNSTAR when India play their next encounter with South Africa. But I am happy atleast we Indians are OPTIMISTICs, aren't we?
Time : 19:30 Hrs
My cell rang and before I could pick it up the opposite party had already hanged up. A MISSED CALL !!!
Mob No : +91 99034 XXXXX
I called back, it was disconnected.
I called again, disconnected !!!
I got a feeling that someone is playing pranks with me. I typed in 99 on my mobile and a set of numbers came up, most of them from Karnataka.
I thought some friend is trying to pull my legs. I thought it was Alok. I started surfing channels for some good songs.....
It rang again....a missed call again!!! I didn't bother to call back.
5 mins later, I received a friendship message. I called back again only to get a negative result again.
5 mins later, I received a message again. I replied to message asking who it was?
I got a reply 'Recognise me'.
Chain of messages,
Me: 'Shahrukh Khan? Amitabh Bachan, or for a change Madhuri Dixit ?'.
Opp. party : 'Wrong, Wanna be my friend?'.
Me: 'Hey, have we met before ? May I know this friends name?'
Opp. party : 'Its Nisha. We have never met before and will never meet, but I just want to be friends with you'.
Chaila main bola LADKI aur apun se friendship, apun ki dil main khalbali mach gayi. But I knew someone was kidding.
As I was imagining another friendship message came in.
Me: 'Nice to meet you Nisha. From where did you get my number? Where are u from? I know that you are a male and trying to fool me'.
Opp. party : 'Dear, will you be my friend? I am a girl and you are a boy. I am being honest. I am not fooling you. I am a good human being. REPLY'.
Me: 'Ok then why are u not picking up my call. Kaun hai be tu mamu samjya kya mereko?'.
Thought of giving some bad words, lekin agar ladki rahi to, Rehne de basanthi bola. Pressed 'Send'.
I tried calling again, for a change it was busy this time. I disconnected it and before I could close the flap of my phone, what else?, the display showed
"+9199034XXXXX calling".
I picked it up in style and said "Kaun hai be tu? " and started laughing.
A sweet voice said " Excuse me, its Nisha here".
chaila meri to phat gayi.... LADKI??? full pungi tight. Kya karoon kya naa karoon kuch samajh main nahi aa raha.
It took around 10 sec to realise what was happening?
Telephonic conversation:
Nisha : 'Hello you there?"
Me: " Yes, is this some kind of a prank? " full english marya main bhi.
Nisha: 'Nope, do u know Hindi?".
Me: 'Ji, haan, Aap ke saath koi hai kya? Aap majaak kar rahe ho kya? Yeh koi Karnataka ka number hai kya?'. Too many questions to ask but
I didnt know what to do or speak. Mera presence of mind aur himath ( bahoot kum hai ) sab tel lene gaya tha.
Nisha: 'Nahi main majaak nahi kar rahi hoon aur nahi koi mere saath hai. This number is from West Bengal. Aapka pura naam kya hai?'. Waah
Quite a familiar place, chaila city ka naam to bolti. Aise bol rahi hai jaise baggal ke kholi main rehti hai.
Me; 'Ajay Hosur'.
Nisha: 'Excuse me but I didnt get your second name?'.
Me: 'Hosur, Ajay Hosur'. Full James Bond style main bolya. The name is Bond, James Bond.
Nisha: 'Kuch ajeeb sa sirname hai aapka'. Chaila I didnt understand what to do or say? Is maine mera kya kasoor?
Me: 'Ji woh ek jagaah ka naam hai. aap kabhi Blore gayi ho to shayad suna hoga. my ancestors were from that place'.
bhendi kya bola mereko hi samaj main nahi aaya. Actually Hosur is a place near Hubli, lekin mere dimaag main Blore ka Hosur road flash hua.
Rehne de Basanthi.
Nisha: 'Ok Ok. aapko bura to nahi laga ki maine aapko pareshaan kiya?'. Ye le... chaila mere mann main ladoo phoot rahe the aur ye ladki bura maneki
baat kar rahi hai. Apun ka dil garden garden ho raha tha, full Gulshan Grover istyle.
Me: 'Nishaji, aapko mera number kahan se mila?'. Full formal hone ki koshish..........
Nisha: 'Are Ajay aap ye ji ji kyon laga rahe ho..pls don't be formal. Number aise hi mil gaya'. ise kehte hai sone pe suhaga Angreji main Icing on the Cake.
Abhi aage kya bolneka apunko samaj main nahi aa raha....
Me : 'What do u mean aise hi mil gaya? kisi paper main chapa tha kya?'. full cut joke mara...hahahaha...kya karein aadat se majboor.
bhendi she didnt get the joke aur boli what? baad main samjha usko ..hasi !!! hasi to phasi....
Nisha: 'Aap ke barein main batao? agar aap bura na mane to?'. Are my life is an open book...kya bataoon kuch samaja nahi socha main bhi thoda game
khelta hoon.
Me: 'I live in Mumbai, I am married'. She broke my sentence 'Jhoot mat bolo. I know u are single, stay in Mumbai, u are originally from Belgaum, Karnataka, and work with TCS'. Ayela apun to India main world phamous..................
Nisha: 'Be honest with you friend. Jhoot mat bolo'.
Baad main bahoot sari batein hui..
Maine himmat karke poocha 'Do u have a boyfriend?'
Nisha: 'Yes, He is in Blore'. Ghanta phir mere saath kaiko khilwaad kar rahi hai?
Me: 'Usko bura nahi lagega ki tum aise ek ajnabi se itni der se baat kar rahi ho'.
Nisha: 'hum dono main bahoot achi understanding hain'...dosti aur pyaar ke funde marne lagi
Me: 'Good. Hum duwa karenge ki apki yeh understanding barkarar rahe'. kaika good phir mere dil ko kyon thes pahooncha rahi hai?
She told me that she is a CA, from Rajasthan, is a Marwadi, working in Kolkata about her work etc etc...
Baad main tata bye bye bolke phone rakha....
Chaila, chalo zindagi main kuch to adventure hua.. lekin as usual mera match bhi India ki tarah shurawaat to badiya raha lekin end wahi saala.
Lekin tabhi news main khabar aaya ki Shahrukh is replacing Amitabh in KBC. Then it suddenly struck me.
"Agar ladki ka koi BF nahi to usko pataya to kya pataya...."
Hai ki nahi dostaon...lagta hai maine tum ko bahoot pakaya... pls maaf karo :)
Main Geeta, Bible aur Quran ki kasam khake bolta hoon ki main jo kuch bhi bol(likh) raha hoon sach bol(likh) raha hoon.
Scene : Sunday, 26th November 2006, 18:26 Hrs
I was alone at home, as Alok was in Belgaum and Yashwant had gone to Office, watching one of the bestest fightbacks by Team India, some might disagree.
To my disbelief M. S. Dhoni got out but I still had hopes as Pathan, Zaheer, Kumble, Agarkar were due next. But destiny had other plans and we lost.
I remembered that I had promised myself not to watch Indian criket match after the Durban defeat. But can't help it yaar, typical Indian mentality.
Probably most Indians swear not to watch Indian cricket match after defeat, but I am sure most televisions will be switched on ESPNSTAR when India play their next encounter with South Africa. But I am happy atleast we Indians are OPTIMISTICs, aren't we?
Time : 19:30 Hrs
My cell rang and before I could pick it up the opposite party had already hanged up. A MISSED CALL !!!
Mob No : +91 99034 XXXXX
I called back, it was disconnected.
I called again, disconnected !!!
I got a feeling that someone is playing pranks with me. I typed in 99 on my mobile and a set of numbers came up, most of them from Karnataka.
I thought some friend is trying to pull my legs. I thought it was Alok. I started surfing channels for some good songs.....
It rang again....a missed call again!!! I didn't bother to call back.
5 mins later, I received a friendship message. I called back again only to get a negative result again.
5 mins later, I received a message again. I replied to message asking who it was?
I got a reply 'Recognise me'.
Chain of messages,
Me: 'Shahrukh Khan? Amitabh Bachan, or for a change Madhuri Dixit ?'.
Opp. party : 'Wrong, Wanna be my friend?'.
Me: 'Hey, have we met before ? May I know this friends name?'
Opp. party : 'Its Nisha. We have never met before and will never meet, but I just want to be friends with you'.
Chaila main bola LADKI aur apun se friendship, apun ki dil main khalbali mach gayi. But I knew someone was kidding.
As I was imagining another friendship message came in.
Me: 'Nice to meet you Nisha. From where did you get my number? Where are u from? I know that you are a male and trying to fool me'.
Opp. party : 'Dear, will you be my friend? I am a girl and you are a boy. I am being honest. I am not fooling you. I am a good human being. REPLY'.
Me: 'Ok then why are u not picking up my call. Kaun hai be tu mamu samjya kya mereko?'.
Thought of giving some bad words, lekin agar ladki rahi to, Rehne de basanthi bola. Pressed 'Send'.
I tried calling again, for a change it was busy this time. I disconnected it and before I could close the flap of my phone, what else?, the display showed
"+9199034XXXXX calling".
I picked it up in style and said "Kaun hai be tu? " and started laughing.
A sweet voice said " Excuse me, its Nisha here".
chaila meri to phat gayi.... LADKI??? full pungi tight. Kya karoon kya naa karoon kuch samajh main nahi aa raha.
It took around 10 sec to realise what was happening?
Telephonic conversation:
Nisha : 'Hello you there?"
Me: " Yes, is this some kind of a prank? " full english marya main bhi.
Nisha: 'Nope, do u know Hindi?".
Me: 'Ji, haan, Aap ke saath koi hai kya? Aap majaak kar rahe ho kya? Yeh koi Karnataka ka number hai kya?'. Too many questions to ask but
I didnt know what to do or speak. Mera presence of mind aur himath ( bahoot kum hai ) sab tel lene gaya tha.
Nisha: 'Nahi main majaak nahi kar rahi hoon aur nahi koi mere saath hai. This number is from West Bengal. Aapka pura naam kya hai?'. Waah
Quite a familiar place, chaila city ka naam to bolti. Aise bol rahi hai jaise baggal ke kholi main rehti hai.
Me; 'Ajay Hosur'.
Nisha: 'Excuse me but I didnt get your second name?'.
Me: 'Hosur, Ajay Hosur'. Full James Bond style main bolya. The name is Bond, James Bond.
Nisha: 'Kuch ajeeb sa sirname hai aapka'. Chaila I didnt understand what to do or say? Is maine mera kya kasoor?
Me: 'Ji woh ek jagaah ka naam hai. aap kabhi Blore gayi ho to shayad suna hoga. my ancestors were from that place'.
bhendi kya bola mereko hi samaj main nahi aaya. Actually Hosur is a place near Hubli, lekin mere dimaag main Blore ka Hosur road flash hua.
Rehne de Basanthi.
Nisha: 'Ok Ok. aapko bura to nahi laga ki maine aapko pareshaan kiya?'. Ye le... chaila mere mann main ladoo phoot rahe the aur ye ladki bura maneki
baat kar rahi hai. Apun ka dil garden garden ho raha tha, full Gulshan Grover istyle.
Me: 'Nishaji, aapko mera number kahan se mila?'. Full formal hone ki koshish..........
Nisha: 'Are Ajay aap ye ji ji kyon laga rahe ho..pls don't be formal. Number aise hi mil gaya'. ise kehte hai sone pe suhaga Angreji main Icing on the Cake.
Abhi aage kya bolneka apunko samaj main nahi aa raha....
Me : 'What do u mean aise hi mil gaya? kisi paper main chapa tha kya?'. full cut joke mara...hahahaha...kya karein aadat se majboor.
bhendi she didnt get the joke aur boli what? baad main samjha usko ..hasi !!! hasi to phasi....
Nisha: 'Aap ke barein main batao? agar aap bura na mane to?'. Are my life is an open book...kya bataoon kuch samaja nahi socha main bhi thoda game
khelta hoon.
Me: 'I live in Mumbai, I am married'. She broke my sentence 'Jhoot mat bolo. I know u are single, stay in Mumbai, u are originally from Belgaum, Karnataka, and work with TCS'. Ayela apun to India main world phamous..................
Nisha: 'Be honest with you friend. Jhoot mat bolo'.
Baad main bahoot sari batein hui..
Maine himmat karke poocha 'Do u have a boyfriend?'
Nisha: 'Yes, He is in Blore'. Ghanta phir mere saath kaiko khilwaad kar rahi hai?
Me: 'Usko bura nahi lagega ki tum aise ek ajnabi se itni der se baat kar rahi ho'.
Nisha: 'hum dono main bahoot achi understanding hain'...dosti aur pyaar ke funde marne lagi
Me: 'Good. Hum duwa karenge ki apki yeh understanding barkarar rahe'. kaika good phir mere dil ko kyon thes pahooncha rahi hai?
She told me that she is a CA, from Rajasthan, is a Marwadi, working in Kolkata about her work etc etc...
Baad main tata bye bye bolke phone rakha....
Chaila, chalo zindagi main kuch to adventure hua.. lekin as usual mera match bhi India ki tarah shurawaat to badiya raha lekin end wahi saala.
Lekin tabhi news main khabar aaya ki Shahrukh is replacing Amitabh in KBC. Then it suddenly struck me.
"Agar ladki ka koi BF nahi to usko pataya to kya pataya...."
Hai ki nahi dostaon...lagta hai maine tum ko bahoot pakaya... pls maaf karo :)
3 comments:
hehe...nice one Ajay
The dialogue ws amazin n ur comments in betwn spiced it up :p
Mind Blowing. My fren liked ur attempt very much. too good. She was asking for the full version book by Ajay Hosur on 'Life Main...'
Compliments: Professional writer,
Plz write a book. i ll b the first & regular reader of ur books.
Niru
lol..damn funny ....:P,njoyd readin...u def hav a mumbaiya language :)
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